apparently i’m just gonna post about guys… because i want someone to hang out with and cuddle with and flirt with. and i needed to say that somewhere. i want someone to hold me. i want to be comfortable with someone and be able to hug them and hold them whenever i want and for them to come up to me unexpectedly to hug and hold me. lfjd;lskjf;lsdjf;sl

Today i need to finish my art project, its a book that i’m sewing/embroidering.

Also, my mom wants me to help her bake and that’ll take a little while…

Then, I need to fill out a packet that i really dont understand how to fill it out.

In between all that me and my mama are going to go to town so i can get fabric for my book and she can get a book for her book club.

But for now i think i’m going to shower.

That boy that i liked like doesnt talk to me anymore… Grant said he’s “on his man period. theres something wrong.” and i cant help but think its partially my fault even though its something or someone that actually matters to him thats upsetting him.

He said he doesnt think it would work out between us “because shes a junior and i just dont see how that would work”, and i think thats the lamest thing i’ve ever heard… He’s being dumb and i keep calling him gay but hes still adorable and still funny and i still ike him -__-

Well… i had a much better day than i expected to have today! I went to the lacrosse game which was actually very exciting because they hit more and my friend made lots of points :D then me allie and grant went to his house for burgers and then to my house and we made a fire and smores. Then we watched inception, abby came over to watch it, and then my cousins came over also! so we played mario kart and guitar hero and singstar. Oh and i was texting my other friend who i dont get to see/talk to that much anymore.

Tomorrow i’m going to have to work on homework though, because even though my 1st tri just ended and the 2nd one hasnt started yet, i have to finish my art project and fill out an entire packet that doesnt make sense. I’m not excited for that at all so i think i should just not think about it and go to sleep.

AND, why dont boys like me….

i’ve been so happy lately happier then i’ve been all year it seems like, and its been constant like normally when i’m this happy it only lasts a day if that… but this has been 2, 3 weeks? :D its wonderful but i’m scared that means it wont last much longer. I kinda think its because i’ve stopped talking to my ex… Because when i talk to him i get mad and stressed and annoyed. plus, i’ve been talking to this other boy who likes me and he’s so perfect but he’s so shy and i just wanna cuddle and hold his hand and hang out all the time. but i only see him like once during the day at school… and right now he’s far off somewhere in washington so i cant hang out with him over break :/ but thats ok he said he would come over and play gamecube with me when he gets back :D oh and he’s buff and smart and cute and funny and likes to dance. see? perfect. and his parents are funny and my mom likes him and he’s bestfriends with one of my friends and all of his other friends are funny and he’s taller than me even when i’m wearing heels. i’m so scared ima fuck things up or he’s gonna stop liking me or decide i’m boring :/